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Why It's Absolutely Okay to Cut Off People From Your Life

It's an old story of mine that I will be so grateful if you take time to read, but if not, then you could just check out my outfit that I attach to this post. So here we go.
Some of you might have already known that one of my businesses is a bakery shop that started at the beginning of 2017. It's doing great so far but that doesn't mean that I didn't face any struggles in my business. Up and down of business is common and it can't be avoided. Receiving customers complaints is also something I already used to. Increasing of raw material prices or facing competitors, been there, done that. But there's one thing that made me feel super stressed, emotional, and angry all the time. And I just didn't know what to do at that moment.

How Did I End 2017

     Wow! I just realized that I didn't post anything last month. Let me recall what did I do in December that makes me abandon my blog for a while...
     Oh right! I was busy... enjoying my holiday trip LOL. When I was finally home after my holiday, J was in town too so I spend a lot of time with him instead of sitting in front of my laptop. To be honest, 2017 has been very depressing, yet exciting year for me. Despite the mental issue I had, I'm so grateful for everything I got this year. Spent a lot of my money on travels, yet I still feel so stressed. I guess one of the main reason is that J lives a hundred miles away in Jakarta while I'm stuck in Surabaya even though I still meet him regularly. By 'regularly' I mean once in every two months! How depressing is that when I know life is so much better and easier when he's around. *sigh*
     Yet, here I am walking into 2018 with a big smile. One of my life problems has been solved at the beginning of the year and I couldn't feel happier. Can't wait for what's in store for me this year!


Neogen Bio-Peel & Real Fresh Foam Review: CLOZETTE

     In a world full of beauty blogger, I don't know why I'm not really interested in being one. I love watching all those makeup tutorials, learning the dos and don'ts of makeup, and reading product reviews before buying them. I'll do a product review too once in a while, but I think I'm just going to stick with fashion or lifestyle blogger title. If you've been my reader for a while, then you must notice that I'm a storyteller. I like to write about my life, my thoughts, or random miscellaneous things. I like to treat my blog as my online diary (believe it or not, I love to write diary since I was a kid. And had a lot of diary book filled with my ugly handwriting).
     A few days ago, NEOGEN had a collaboration with Clozette Indonesia and I got a chance to review some of their 'it' products. I don't usually take a beauty products review offer, but to be honest, I've been eyeing the Bio Peel for a while. I've never heard a bad review about it so I really wanted to buy and try the products. My skin is super sensitive and I've already had one bad experience of trying new skincare product that everyone says it's the best, but it didn't turn out well on my skin. I guess that is one of the reasons why I don't want to jump into beauty blogger world and reviewing a lot of products. I don't have that much money to go meet Dermatologist every time there is something wrong with my skin after trying some products. 


A Journey to Find Peace

Me and my jealousy. All my life I've always wanted to be someone else. I wanted to be my sister when I was 6. I still wanted to be my sister when I was 13. That's because she's so beautiful and I thought everyone loves her because of that. I wanted to be my best friend when I was in high school. Because she has so many friends out there and never was an introvert. She could easily make a conversation whereas I could only stand beside her, listening and faking a laugh at the jokes they made.
But here I am. Almost 23 and finally come to a realization that everyone is different and you can do nothing about it. That's just how the universe works.

A Quick Update from Me

"Can you really see if someone is good inside or not? How about me? Can you really feel the negative aura whenever you see me?"
     I've been going round and round asking each of my friends that same question. And most of them say no. Actually, they say that they never have seen me being a negative person. And I was amazed. Because dude are you blind? 
     Truth be told,  2017 has been very depressing to me. It's true that no one can be positive 24/7 but me? I'm a negative person 24/7. Overthinking by day leads to nightmares by night. I envy those who feel refreshed when they wake up in the morning because I don't even remember the last time I feel that way. It's always sadness and anger and sometimes, I woke up in tears with no memory about what was I dreamed about. 
     And recently, I also have been asking myself, "Girl, what lies are you composing too?" The life I always show on social media is inversely proportional to the actual reality. But I'm just a girl who believes in the power of FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. It's like my own special mantra. When you act positively, the universe will help to create a positive environment for you.
     But I also get tired of faking it. No matter how much I love social media (especially Instagram), sometimes I just need to lay low and disappear. Rebuilding myself, regaining my energy. Acting positive takes a lot of energy especially if my mind doesn't act the same way. This is not about me being a fake person. It's about me struggling with my own mind. It's about me believing that helping people means I'm helping myself.